#i just think regulus deserves to have mental breakdowns if i’m having mental breakdowns

[jmeslovr]

forever fighting the urge to give jegulus my specific brand of mental illness just split in half

[ellecdc]

hiya!!

how do you think poly!moonwater would react to reader having a high risk pregnancy?? when my mum was pregnant with me she was high risk, and had to spend the last 2/3 weeks of her pregnancy in the hospital so they could monitor both her and me haha (this isn’t a request, but if you want to turn this into one you ABSOLUTELY can!)

Oh god. Poor moonwater 😩 they’re already so fucking worked up all the time - and if reader felt not only bedridden but THAT much more coddled/fussed over? She’d be regretting all her life choices tbh hahaha

Regulus would straight up quit his job - probably force Remus to as well tbh which rem wouldn’t argue much cuz he’s just as worried. Rem would be in bed with her 24/7 would not leave her side “need this? Need that? Comfy? More blankets? Want water?” And regulus would be running around doing everything and nothing like just constantly busy busy busy haha

I think James and Lily (and uncle Siri) would have to come take over because regulus would be on the verge of a mental breakdown and they’d be worried you were going to strain yourself killing rem for hovering

Since this is their first child I think I’m gonna let things go (relatively) smoothly for them - lord knows rem & reg deserve it after the shit they went through in canon lol

Maybe we can explore other themes in the future???

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 11

chapter 20:

1. god, i’m glad to know this bridge plan is stressing sirius out too

2. i love sirius’ pure ANGER at how reg and james’ love story is broadcasted to everyone when sirius knows that they deserve privacy.

3. 😟😧 is peter going to be a

FUCKING RAT

IN THIS FIC???? FUCK HIM FUCK YOU FUCK ALL OF YOU!! I LOVED HIM!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THIS??? NOOOOOO

4. 😡😡 PETER AND DEATHEATERS, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, ISTG

5. 😧 vanity noooo

6. 😟 hodge would have turned 15 tomorrow. and james just pushed him in the river. fuck, well, that’s something james is gonna think about forever

7. i am NOT gonna get over vanity’s death

8. reg’s knife throwing skills came into use and yikes. i wish it didn’t have to

9. (bad timing, but nonbinary mathias has my heart)

10. oh god. irene asked regulus to give her mercy and kill her. this. wow. this hurts in ways i can’t describe.

11. everyone is fucking dying, and james just got hurt, and reg is trapped on the other side of the river. jfc this chapter is wild

12. reg, you’re having a panic attack. i understand those. listen to me and jsut follow my voice and breathe with me, okay? in and out. 1…. 2…. 3…. 4…. good. breathe please. i wanna help so bad. please i wish i could help reg breathe.

13. god, it’s hurts that in sirius’ pov, he knows that this is the biggest breakdown reg has EVER had

14. sirius, don’t do something stupid

chapter 21:

1. 😧 THIS is how the plan is formed? sirius talking to slughorn about two victors making it out as long as they’re from the same district? wow. i was almost looking forward to the death pact, while also knowing it would be out of reg’s character (and james’) so it would be unsatisfying. i like this a lot, actually

2. dorcas leaving her home in the most ratty-ass pajamas to run four miles 😭😭 she’s still a queen to me

3. marlene’s reaction is heartbreaking, honestly

4. i love how there’s the line about dorcas caring for vanity and hodge. she cares. marlene asked her to, chapters and chapters ago. and dorcas cared. this hurts

5. 😟 regulus is so angry that he plans on avenging james with what i assume is the most torturous murder to others

6. !!!!! is reg about to take that hint from slughorn? does he realize james is alive?

7. HE REALIZES!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!! THEYRE GONNA REUNITE AND HOPEFULLY HAVE NO TRAUMA FROM THIS HORRENDOUS DAY!

8. remus comparing sirius’ excitement about slughorn’s decision to a dog >>>>>>

9. “They watch with hope.” AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. sirius expects people to not listen to him, so he tells remus to just tune him out, but remus loves to hear sirius talk. <33333 they’re made for each other

11. sirius having worn a dress before and enjoying it >>>>>>>

12. “”Really, your body is a galaxy, and your scars are your stars."” (remus making sirius feel better about his scars) OH MY GOD!! this is gonna be my equivalent of atyd’s “you were beautiful”

13. remus’ shirt is off and sirius wants to cry over how gorgeous he is. (when i first had sex, i cried over how pretty my partner was. i do not judge sirius for this reaction)

14. the way remus gets his moony nickname in this fic, with his scars being compared to moon craters >>>>>>>>>

15. despite sirius wanting to have sex with remus, i love his decision to wait so he’s mentally in the right place for it. and i love remus’ treatment of sirius’ relationship to sex. that’s exactly what i, as an aroace spec person, needed to hear

16. i’m so fucking PISSED that the hallow took away sirius’ acceptance of pleasure. remus and i are gonna fucking take down the hallow for that

17. authors notes say that sirius is demisexual, and i am all on board. another demisexual!! me and sirius are twinning! i love this!!

[milf-lover42]

Bellatrix and Azula are the same character, change my mind

As most people can tell, Bellatrix Lestrange is my all time favorite character. I might get new favorites every time I watch a new show, and they all share a general similarity (let’s face it… I have a type, and if you’re reading this here on tumblr dot com… you do too, don’t lie). However, no character has ever come close to beating Bellatrix for top spot. And then I watched A:TLA for the first time a few weeks ago. I didn’t watch it as a kid, I was just young enough (2003 babeyy) that I wasn’t watching tv when it was on. Azula is obviously my favorite from this show, and is also the only character to ever come close to Bellatrix’ spot in my heart. But thinking about this and all the headcanons that people have made for the Black family dynamic… it seems like a pretty straightforward connection. Azula is essentially just a young Bellatrix.

Almost all of these Black family headcanons have been taken from fanfictions I have read over the years, and so the credit goes to their respective authors. Many overlap so I cannot pinpoint each author to each one, and it has been a while since reading some of them. Most notable of these would be Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss. There are many more fantastic stories I have drawn from but I couldn’t remember every fanfiction I’ve read to pick out each detail. For all the Azula stuff, I am drawing from Hello Future Me’s video on Youtube “The Psychology of Azula | Avatar: The Last Airbender”. If you want to spend an hour watching that I highly recommend it. Basically none of this is mine, I’m just using the headcanons and research of others to tie Bellatrix to Azula.

Let’s start with their family dynamics. Bellatrix is the oldest of the Black sisters, and has no brother. Although not stated in canon, (because apparently she’s too minor a character to deserve a backstory) it is presumed that all the duties of a male heir fell to her in a way. Marry young and marry a rich pureblood, carry on the family name and power, and secure a high social standing. Pureblood society is extremely archaic, if the treatment of muggle-borns is anything to go by, so we can safely assume that they are a very patriarchal society. Cygnus and Druella Black almost certainly wanted a son to carry on their name, especially given Walburga and Orion had both Sirius and Regulus. We can also assume that they weren’t exactly the kindest parents. At best, Druella was a silent wife subjected to abuse from her husband and ultimately was unable to keep her children safe; at worst she actively joined Cygnus in abusing their children. Each of the sisters have a unique way of dealing with this. 

Andromeda handled it by running away, completely rebelling. She fell in love with Ted Tonks, a muggle-born. I doubt this in itself was an act of rebellion, I think she simply realized how stupid blood supremacy was after speaking to him. Once she fell in love it’s clear she wanted to break away from her family so that she could marry him. Clearly her parents knew, and it’s likely she told them herself. Given Ted was a muggleborn I can’t imagine her parents reacting with a simple, “No he is beneath you, we forbid it.” They probably acted harshly in an attempt to make it stick in her head that the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black would not associate with m*dbloods. Either she ran away or was kicked out, but either way she stayed with Ted and didn’t listen to her parents.

Narcissa shut off and blocked all her emotions. Obviously as an adult she actively practices the same beliefs her parents did, but as a teenager I don’t see this as being who she was. As an adult she is very cold and unemotional. The only person she truly cares about is her son, Draco. She cares about Bella still, she just doesn’t show it because she wasn’t allowed to as a child. As for her feelings toward Lucius... it is unclear. Depending on where you stand, she either could have been forced into a marriage with him, or they were in love as teenagers and got lucky enough that their parents arranged for them to marry each other. My personal opinion is they were forced. I think Lucius was supposed to be married to Andy but when she ran away, the Blacks had to hold up their end of the deal with the Malfoy’s and so Narcissa was married off to him. She embodies the whole “Ice Queen” personality. In order to cope with the trauma and her unwanted marriage, she just blocked all emotion to keep herself sane, only showing it for Draco.

And then we come to Bellatrix. Bellatrix, who had too many expectations to live up to, so many roles to fill, and no positive reinforcement from parents who just abused her if she messed up. She felt everything. She was the oldest and cared greatly for her younger sisters, and probably did her best to take any of the abuse that was going to be given to Narcissa or Andromeda. She used herself as their shield because they were the most important thing to her. Even after joining Voldemort and going insane she makes it very clear how she feels about Narcissa. Bellatrix would follow Voldemort's orders to the ends of the Earth, but the second she is asked to trust Snape, she says that Voldemort has made an error in judgement. Cissa wants to go to him and ask him to keep Draco safe, but Bellatrix advises against this. Only when her sister is in potential danger does Bellatrix doubt her master. Even at the height of her insanity her sister is the most important thing to her. We can assume as a child she felt the same for Andy. In fact in my opinion she never really stopped caring about her until Azkaban, I think she pretended to hate her when she came out about Ted Tonks, but only did so so that Andy would run away and live her life with the man she loved. She was safer away from their parents anyway. It didn’t matter if Bellatrix thought negatively about muggle-borns; she just wanted her sister to be safe. After going insane however, she truly seems to hate Ted for being a muggle-born, and she kills their half-blood daughter Nymphadora. 

In order to cope with the trauma of her childhood Bellatrix used all of those emotions as fuel for her magic. She is an incredibly powerful witch and is massively intelligent (although why she didn’t just use Legilimens on the Golden Trio will baffle me forever… it would have been so simple…). However because of this coping mechanism, she is driven insane. It’s not instant, in fact it probably took years (probably that stint in Azkaban, lads) for the insanity to fully develop and take hold. All of that exposure to Dementors would have forced her to relive the trauma of her childhood over and over, while taking away the happy memories of her sisters. 

Bellatrix was given a support system to break away from her family. Now it’s not a good or healthy one, but it is one nonetheless. After being treated so poorly by her parents, and forced into a marriage with Rodolphus, she needed freedom. When Tom Riddle comes along and praises her skill and offers her a spot as his best lieutenant? Of course she’s going to take that. Finally some recognition, and a good amount of safety. Not to mention missions and tasks given to her and others to her husband that mean she doesn’t have to be around him. Bellatrix was mistreated by her father and mother, but probably always wanted her father’s recognition. Her mother probably preferred Narcissa because she could be groomed into the perfect pureblood wife. Bellatrix latched onto Voldemort to gain recognition, praise, and power. But I can imagine as a teenager, having a complete breakdown at least once, especially after being told she’d be married off to Rodolphus. Demolishing her room with magic, windows breaking, personal items being thrown either by hand or by magic, and screaming and crying at the end. Very similar to Azula’s breakdown in her final scene.

Now we come to Princess Azula. She has an older brother, Zuko, but is always given the limelight. She receives a ceremonial headpiece that she is always seen wearing, but Zuko does not. He might be the boy, but he isn’t expected to take the crown. Azula is even named after her grandfather Azulon, who was Firelord. She was always expected to be the next Firelord over Zuko. Her future was never her own. She is a firebending prodigy, always showing off her skills, whereas Zuko falls behind. She is favored by her father Ozai for sure, but she is never truly praised. She is simply a means to an end to him. She was always expected to be the best. Although it isn’t shown in the TV series, in the A:TLA comics Ursa and Ozia’s relationship is depicted as abusive. He cuts her off from her family saying that he is all she will need. 

 There are theories as to whether or not Azula has a Machievellian personality type, or ASPD or NPD that could have been a root cause of her diminishing sanity, and after looking into those they seem very plausible. She lacks empathy, she emotionally manipulates everyone, and she has a messed up sense of right and wrong. Altruism just doesn’t make sense to her, and emotions are not genuine, simply stories made to get your way. Ursa rewards empathy, love and trust, which is why she clearly favors Zuko. But Ozai rewards power, cunning, and loyalty. They are complete opposites so it is not possible to please both of them. If she has any of these mental disorders it would be impossible to please her mother, so she focused on making her father proud. But Ozai never really shows any level of praise towards her, so she constantly tries to better herself. If she isn’t perfect, she’s failed. 

At the end of A:TLA, Ozai forces her to stay behind in the Fire Nation. He says it’s because they need a Firelord because he will be leaving. Azula is disappointed to not partake in the final battle, but it’s what her father wants, so she obeys. However, he only leaves her so that he can become the supreme leader of everyone, or “Phoenix King”.  Azula doesn’t really get a promotion, just a fancy name. In the finale, she is shown as her mental state quickly deteriorates. Her perfect image is gone, her hair is not up, her makeup undone, and she is paranoid that everyone is out to get her. This is the beginning of her breakdown. When she is unable to put her hair up by herself, she cuts her bangs. Her hair is all of a sudden asymmetrical, which is unheard of. She then starts to hallucinate. By the time she fights Zuko and Katara she is extremely unstable, and the fact that she can actually still bend is incredible, because it requires control of your emotions. She instead manages to use her emotions to fuel her bending. At the end when she is defeated, she finally breaks. Her bending is out of control, and she is left screaming and crying. 

Azula never had anyone  take her under their wing and give her the recognition she craved. Zuko had Iroh. Bellatrix had Voldemort. If Azula had been introduced to someone like Voldemort she would have gone down the same path as Bellatrix. Likewise, if Bellatrix hadn’t been introduced to Voldemort she would have ended up broken just like Azula. Their stories aren’t identical obviously, but there are some strong parallels that place them together, so I can see them as the same person with different outcomes to their story.

Does this stupidly long character analysis have any significant purpose? Nah, not at all. But like… I’m clearly right so… yeah.